Normal

I haven’t been talking much about my raw food experience. Several reasons, really. But mostly because it’s just so.. complex. I find it hard to write about it. Also, it changes daily, which is probably the perfect reason to blog about it. But anyway, I haven’t been saying much. I am going on nine weeks. And the other day I was driving and thinking about it and almost thought I had lost track of how long it had been. I consider losing track a good sign for me. A sign that I am developing acceptance and no longer marking days and weeks, but just living the life. Which is, afterall, my goal.

So, in taking up my new Bikram Challenge, I also took up another challenge. I decided I wanted to do my entire challenge 100% raw. Cuz, I don’t like for anything to be easy. And also, because I felt like it was the perfect time to stop making excuses and let go of that last little bit of cooked food I’ve been clinging to in my diet.

This raw food thing is complex for me. It’s tough, and easy all at the same time. Today we went out to dinner with family. It was odd for me, I haven’t eaten socially much since doing this. And, we ended up at a completely not raw-friendly restaurant. And yet, sitting there, I was at such peace. I ordered my salad, and didn’t worry. My family is still weirded out. They still haven’t let go of trying to “get it..” I dunno, maybe they never will. For me, it doesn’t matter. I told Dave in the car on the way to the restaurant, my diet is not on the table for discussion tonight. He agreed, and it wasn’t..really. But it’s hard for them to not ask a million questions. I admire and respect their curiosity. And I try to be gracious and share when asked. But there are times, many many times, I just want to eat my salad and not be “the weird one.” I know this is not, in fact, the normal way for most people. But I am trying to make it normal, at least for me.

I feel resolute, and much less whiny about my eating than when I started. I struggled so much with cravings. The most recent battle I’ve had is my cravings for bread, wheat, anything with gluten. Probably THE worst thing I could actually eat. And yes, I’ve failed, and I have gotten up and started over.. Respecting the process, of course.

I was laying in final Savasana this morning thinking about what it means to be normal. I think normal is an illusion. It’s like a carrot dangled in front of us. I’ve never really wanted one way or the other to be normal or not. I remain indifferent. But sometimes, when I’m the “raw yoga girl,” being normal seems pretty appealing in a crowd.

But then I remember all those silly things people say about changing the world and making a difference and doing things my own way. Different drummer and all that. And I wonder if we really mean it or if it’s something we say to somehow soothe the insecurity we feel from feeling too normal. I mean, look at me. I sit here with the most amazing life and yet, I want that normal feeling. Crazy, really.

Sixty days ago, I woke up and headed down this path. Sixty days ago. To the day. Two full months. I had no idea then what I would feel like now. Literally a new person inside and out. I’ve shed so much of the old person. It’s like an ongoing metamorphosis. I feel it in fast forward some days. Other days it seems to not be happening at all. But underneath all those little insecurities, when I am desperately searching for a road marker, I feel that peace. That abiding peace that tells me, “this is who I’ve always wanted to be. This is who I am supposed to be.”

And really, I think that’s better than being normal.

Under the weather..

Today I woke up feeling sick. Not deathbed sick, just that achey “things aren’t quite right” kind of sick. I have been sick, the kind of sick that lands you on IV antibiotics in the hospital. But most of us, myself included, don’t get sick like that often. But this morning I felt under the weather.. Sick? Perhaps.

Illness is the body’s way of telling us something. So when I woke up feeling just exactly as if someone had crushed my body and stolen all of its heat, I decided to listen. It’s hard, because the urge is there.. Run to the cabinet, get the Advil. Numb it. Get better as fast as possible. We are like that, aren’t we? We’re tired, we drink coffee. We are sore, we take medicine. Reactive.. We are so reactive.

This morning, as I lay in bed with my alarm beeping every nine minutes, I decided to just let it be. I didn’t get up and shoot meds. I didn’t get up and whine (ok, I did a little) about my sore muscles. I just got up and decided to accept my discomfort. As the morning wore on, headache and all, I became proactive instead of reactive.

I took my husband to work, deposited Simon at his preschool and quickly shot back as much wheatgrass as I could manage. I was going to beat whatever it was in my body that decided that today was the day to give up and be sick. I felt better. Better enough to make it through the grocery store and home. I felt decent until about midday. I then made a HUGE amount of green juice and promptly downed half of it. Again, proactive is my mantra here..

Sadly by about 3 pm or so, I was miserable. Despite my great efforts at outwitting my body, I felt just as dead as I had earlier and a little bit worse. Nutrition doesn’t always fix things, I guess. I tried, I really did. But I decided to just rest for the evening. And wouldn’t you know, I felt better not long after that.

I don’t tell this rather mundane story just to “blog” and register my life on the ticker. I tell it because of what it has taught me. Ever the student, I have learned a valuable lesson today, from being sick.

What I learned is that my body is not broken. There’s no defect in the system. Whatever was going on (and still is to some extent) on my insides was not a mistake. I believe our bodies are amazing creations. We are capable of so much. We can heal ourselves or harm ourselves. There is surely plenty to be said for taking care of yourself, eating well, and getting the things we need. There is plenty to be said for listening to our pain and knowing when to actually reach for those pills. But there is a disconnect that I think we have to find before we can understand what is truly happening to us when we are under the weather. There is fear we have to let go of, discomfort we have to overcome, and impulses we must break free from before we can ever be proactive.

Illness is not always a mistake. It’s not always bad to feel discomfort and pain. Sometimes that pain, even when it seems unbearable, is doing more than we can ever imagine. Sometimes the little aches and pains, headaches and fevers are doing work that we can’t even see. Sometimes we have to go with it. Stop trying to fix it. And just be sick.

Five weeks…

Five weeks can change your life..

I have been quiet lately. Mostly because things have been so hectic.  But also because I just haven’t felt like writing.  I go through spurts where I’d prefer to sit on the sidelines and watch, listen, and observe.. I am in the middle of one of those spurts right now.

It’s been five weeks since I went raw. Five weeks of whole live food.  Amazing.  Really.

I’ll be back when I have more to say, I promise..

Oh and Happy Birthday Matt!!  May your last year of your 20’s be as fabulous as mine as shaping up to be..

Two weeks tomorrow..

Tomorrow will be two weeks for me.  Two weeks on raw foods.  I am both amazed and humbled.  This has been the longest I have gone on raw foods ever.  It’s been an incredible two weeks and I look forward to more weeks and months ahead.

Mostly I have been dealing with emotional detox.  Changing your diet this radically lends itself to all kinds of crazy things.  I find myself constantly dealing with my personal attachments to eating.  But it’s wonderful.  I have been able (with a great deal of grace) to really stop and listen.  To listen to my body and what it wants.  I have been listening to myself so much that I have learned a lot about what I really want and who I really want to be.  I have decided in the past few days that I will not eat when I am angry, stressed, lonely, or sad.  I will wait, breathe, and let myself stabilize.  I tend to make better choices this way.  It’s helping and so much has already changed.

I am also feeling better on my yoga mat.  I feel more connected.  I feel calmer and more open.

Raw food is a long journey for me.  But I am so happy to be this far.  Here’s to many more weeks to come..

David Wolfe on Raw Cacao.

Raw in the real world..

People are asking so here are five of my own real life EASY completely raw recipes anyone can try and enjoy. Raw food is changing my LIFE and I hope you will all give it a try!

Fresh Orange Juice

6-8 Fresh (preferably organic) JUICE Oranges. I keep mine in the fridge so the juice is cold.
Citrus Juicer

Cut the oranges in half and juice them. I have an inexpensive Black and Decker electric citrus juicer that works wonders. Make sure you get all of the pulp out and don’t waste any of it! This makes a surprisingly filling and satisfying breakfast. Yes, I said, breakfast. Be sure to drink it right away. It will store in the fridge for about 24 hours before it gets not so appetizing. You can use this juice in smoothies and any time you need food right away. I keep a LOT of oranges on hand all the time. Be sure that you rinse out the juicer right away. Nothing sticks to plastic like orange pulp.

Almond Milk

1 cup of RAW almonds soaked in fresh water overnight
2-3 dates, pitted
a little seasalt
a little vanilla
water
A GOOD high powered blender.. Like a VitaMix. Really, nothing kills a blender like grinding up nuts. Trust me, save your blender..
A paint strain bag/cheesecloth/sprout bag.

Soak the nuts in fresh water overnight or for five hours or so. Pour off the water, rinse the almonds. Put them into the blender with about 3 cups of water. DO NOT use the water you soak them in, your milk will be bitter. Blend the nuts for about 2 minutes on the highest setting. Pour the milk through the strainer bag. Wring it out. Don’t be lazy, that’s expensive milk, get it all. Now you have the milk. Pop it back in the blender, add the dates (TAKE OUT THE PITS!!), a pinch of seasalt, and a teaspoon of vanilla. Blend again, until it’s frothy. Serve cold.

Lazy mom’s almond milk: Take 1 tbsp of RAW almond butter (or sesame or any other raw nut butter). Pop it in the blender with about 2 cups of water, and all the finishings and blend until smooth.. You can do that in a regular blender. Serve cold.

Fresh almond milk will keep stored in the fridge for about 48 hours. Shake it if you store it before drinking it.

Easy Nori Wraps

Raw, untoasted Nori sheets
Avocado
Sprouts (any kind)
a little cold pressed olive oil
some cilantro (if you like it)
sea salt

Slice the avocado any way you like, lay it on the Nori sheet. Add sprouts, top with a drizzle of oil and salt. Add cilantro and any other veggie you want. Roll, eat. Makes a great “on the go” food. You can also replace the Nori with large green leaves like lettuce, kale, cabbage etc.. This one is very open ended.

Mamma’s AMAZING corn salad.

This is a raw dish I believe ANYone would eat. Seriously.

4-6 ears of corn. I bought 4 largeish ones and it made enough to feed two adults dinner..
2 Medium tomatoes.
On green bell pepper (or red or yellow)
One lemon
One avocado
One clove of garlic
Sea salt
Balsamic vinegar
Cold press olive oil
Knife
Cutting Board
Blender (any blender will be fine)
Garlic Press (optional)

Husk the corn rinse it well. Remove all the skin and string.. Take a sharp knife and “shave” the corn from the ear. Doing it over a bowl helps control the mess. Chop the tomato and pepper up fine.. Mix corn, tomato, and pepper. Open the avocado, put it in the blender with the juice of a whole lemon, 3 tbsp of Olive Oil, a dash of the vinegar, 3 tsp of salt ( I use coarse grind Himalayan Sea Salt), and the garlic clove (put through a press or chopped.)Blend the “dressing” for about a minute. It should be very creamy.. Put the dressing over the salad (I had leftovers, which you can save or use it all..). Mix well, taste it.. YUMM huh?? OK now cover it and put it in the fridge for an hour. The salad needs to “weep”.. tastes better that way, but you can, of course eat it right away..

Super tempting Raw Chocolate truffles.

This one is not mine, really. I got it from Sergei Boutenko. But I have changed it up a bit to make it “mine”..

1 1/2 Cups of Walnuts
6 dates pitted
4-5 tbsp of raw chocolate powder (or carob)
1/4 cup of fresh young coconut water
a dash of vanilla
1-2 cups of dried coconut
Food Processor

Put the walnuts into the food processor. Grind them down to a fine powder. Add the dates, grind again. Add the chocolate powder, grind again. Now add the coconut water and the vanilla. Grind until a ball forms. You may have to use a spatula to push the “dough” back into the blade a few times. When it’s well blended, you can tell by the consistency, taste it.. MMMM.. Now, get a plate or medium bowl and pour the coconut flakes into it. Form small round balls of the dough in your hands (YES IT’S MESSY!!) and roll them in the coconut flakes. Serve immediately or keep for later (Good luck with that..) You may prefer to refrigerate these if you have leftover, but it’s not required. If you don’t like coconut, roll them in the chocolate powder.

These foods are all completely raw and completely delicious. Enjoy them with your family and a lot of love in your heart..

Be WELL! and have the BEST DAY EVER!!!