To sweat is to pray…

It must be time for me to write another yoga blog..

I have been braving Advanced Class for the past three weeks. Initially I was just fascinated with the idea of doing something else besides the regular 26 postures. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that Advanced is not something you do just to have fun. It’s HARD. Ere go, Advanced.. (sigh)

Well, I liked it the first time I tried it. I must have been high on endorphins to have actually survived, I believe. I was so sweaty five minutes into the class you would have sworn the class should have been over. But no, 115 minutes to go. I made it through pretty well. Mostly just trying set ups and watching. But I had fun, and tried new things. Last week, Advanced class 2, I was a little less giddy about my experience. But happy to have gone, nonetheless. This week, well.. This week was different. And I had a class unlike any I have ever had before.

Each time I have done this, I have taken the regular class before Advanced. They (the teachers) tell you this is wise because the regular class warms you up and gets you ready for the intense work that you are about to do. This is true, and I still think it’s best to work this way. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Bikram Yoga, “regular class” lasts 90 minutes. And don’t be fooled by the title “Bikram’s Beginning Yoga Class.” It’s tough, even for old timers like me who have been at this for years. 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises in the heat. And OH the heat.. I love it, though. I do admit. I would even say addicted to it. It makes me feel alive and clean. I love moving in the heat and feeling my body let go. I have made peace with my sweat.

So, today, I did regular class. It was an AWESOME class. I felt great after (as usual) and was excited for Advanced. I showered, changed, and headed back into the heat for round 2. Things went fine for about the first half of the class (first hour).. But then, all at once, my body freaked out. I was too hot, way too hot. I drank water, lied down.. The room started moving around me. My skin got clammy. I was sweating a LOT. All I could do was close my eyes and breathe. Zeb, God bless him, asked me if I was ok. I said, yes, but remained on my back. My body kept moving through whatever it was doing. Sweating, goosebumps, more sweating. I sat up a few times to watch, participate and drink. The water started to turn in my stomach.. I closed my eyes, and just breathed. I pushed air as deeply as I could manage into my belly. I recalled being pregnant and pushing away nausea with my Prana. My breath moved in an out. My body poured off water. At one point, I sat up for full camel. I was determined to at least try my very favorite pose.. I came up to my knees and bended back into the set up. I felt water pouring off my head, arms, shoulders, and stomach. I arched back and breathed, letting go. Camel is an intense pose. It opens up parts of you that you never knew about. I watched for the floor and stopped.. I breathed and breathed and breathed.. When I came back out, I went straight to my back. This time my eyes welled with tears.. I closed them, breathing and breathing and breathing.. Letting go.

The rest of the class is a blur. I know I made it through a few more postures and the final breathing exercises. When I walked out of the room and into the lobby I felt empty. My mat and towel and clothing were so wet they were heavy. I wrung my clothes out in the shower. Standing under the hot water, I started to cry.. Again, quietly.. I have no idea what happened to me. I have no idea what my body was doing. For a minute I just let the water pour over my head. I was alone in the bathroom, with my thoughts. I thought to myself, “this is the most profound detox I have ever had here” and I was grateful.

For the past few hours I have been quietly contemplating that class. I rested, ate, and feel better. I am cold, and have been wanting to warm up for hours. But I feel so quiet and calm. I am reminded that I don’t fully know all that is happening to me in class. I am reminded that every day is a journey. I am reminded that I am human, and weak. I am reminded that I have so far to go. I am humbled, honored, and thankful.

I have stumbled across this quote many times.. I love it. And it fully sums up how I feel at the moment.

To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self, to create your own prayer beads. Sweat is holy water, pearls of liquid that release your past, anointing all your parts in a baptism by fire. Sweat burns karma, purifying body and soul. Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self-healing….. The more you sweat, the more you pray. The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy.–Gabrielle Roth

So maybe today I don’t actually have any prayers.. Maybe today, all I have is my sweat. The water from my body. I sure let go of a lot today. And in many ways, I feel like I have been praying quite a bit.

Namaste

About my Yoga practice.. Bikram Yoga..

Well since it’s been asked several times, I’ll just write a short little blog..

I practice Bikram Yoga. I found Bikram yoga by accident really. I picked up the “Bikram Bible” about eight years ago in a little bookstore in Boulder Colorado. I proceeded to practice at home with my own “heat” for years. It wasn’t until about two years ago that I took my first “hot” Bikram class. I am fortunate to live so close to BYTW – Bikram Yoga The Woodlands. BYTW is a fabulous studio with amazing teachers and world class Bikram facilities.

Bikram yoga is a series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises performed in a room heated to approximately 104-106 degrees with humidity ranging from 40-60 percent. The heat serves three purposes. It helps to detoxify the body and its systems, it relaxes the muscles to prevent injury, and it assists in an excellent cardiovascular workout. Each class follows the exact same dialog. Bikram yoga teachers all attend the same training course and must stay certified with Bikram.

There is much controversy about Bikram “franchising” his yoga series. He has placed a copyright on his sequence and has in the past prosecuted teachers for teaching “his” sequence without using his name or the trademarked “Bikram’s Yoga College of India” insignia. There are many other “hot yoga” brands out there, but only Bikram is Bikram.

Bikram yoga is appropriate for anyone, any age, any situation. Bikram says, “You’re never too old, never too sick, it’s never too late to start again, to be born again..” I have been doing this yoga on and off for many years and have really devoted myself to Bikram over the past two years. I am fortunate to have access to one of the premier Bikram studios in the world. My teachers have become like family to be. BYTW is my second home and I have always felt comfortable and loved. The support, encouragement, and respect that emanates from the staff and students at BYTW is second to none.

Many of you have read my other blogs about my “Bikram Challenges.” Bikram believes you give yourself over to his practice for 60 days and you will heal your body, renew your mind, and change your life. I have completed on 30 day challenge and one 60 day challenge in the past seven months. Basically you take 60 (or 30) Bikram classes within 60 (or 30) days. The beauty of the challenge is that it’s simple. You go back, day after day. It changes your whole life. I can attest not only to the physical changes, but the emotional changes as well. Bikram yoga has changed my life. It has brought me back into balance as a whole person, as a mother, and a wife.

I typically practice five days a week. You can do Bikram every day for the rest of your life. It’s that amazing. Getting on the mat is the first step. Everyone has a “first class” and I won’t lie to you, it’s hard. 90 minutes of sweating, stretching, and work. Bikram says “I don’t sell cheesecake.” This is not “stare at your navel” yoga. It’s work, and it works.

So, put some shorts on, grab some towels, get some water, and get in the room. Oh and please come back and tell me how much YOUR life has been changed..

Namaste

K

17 in 14

I’m not bragging. Ok, maybe I am. But I so kick ass at this Bikram Yoga thing. I know, I am certainly no Sarah Baughn or Cynthia Wehr.. BUT I kick ass. Plain and simple. Today marked class 17. So far I have completed seventeen classes in fourteen days. Yes, that means I “doubled” up three times.. See, Kick Ass.

The craziest things are happening to me. Besides the obvious benefits of my jeans looking better and my back feeling like solid gold. Even more mysterious workings are happening deep in the tissues of my body.. I feel more alert, more calm, more focused. Staring at yourself, and your body. The reality of your whole self for 90 minutes every single day (sometimes twice) kinda creates this self acceptance. You just have to let go and accept yourself, your body, who you are.. Even with all the sweat dripping off of every surface of your body.. See, beauty does come from withing. Deep breath, second set…

I guess when you do this enough.. and I have actually heard rumor of this, so I guess I am starting to believe. I guess you do get the “endorphin high” and it’s real. Even when the alarm goes off at 4:15 am for that 5:30 class, you don’t fight anymore. You accept, breathe, and accept.. Even the early mornings. Because you know, no matter how class goes, you will feel better when you come out. You know your body will feel like a sponge that has been completely wrung out.. and it’s great.

Today as I was showering after that “Earlier than God gets up” class, I couldn’t stop smiling. Thinking of how much I have nosedived into this new life. When I went back to yoga, I started this challenge. Nov 1 was my first day back at BYTW since July 4.. I haven’t missed a day yet. and I don’t plan to. It’s not that I am on some masochistic mission to “whip my body into shape”.. It’s not that I have to keep up with everyone else on the challenge. It’s just that I can’t imagine NOT doing it. I mean, there’s such a camaraderie.. There’s a group of us that seem to all end up in class together. It feels good to encourage each other. To laugh, smile, and complain together. To discuss the various details of which teacher made it “too hot” and which teacher pushed us too far and such.. Not that any of it matters. Class is class. It is what it is.. But it’s nice to have companionship..

So here’s to working hard and doing what feels good..